Learning to rock climb was certainly one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. Not only was it completely outside of my comfort zone because of my extreme fear of heights, but it was also outside of my usual style of learning. Generally, I prefer to read to learn, or at the very most observe others doing something then move on from there. Observing someone else rockclimbing doesn't get you very far, and reading about rock climbing is kind of like reading about cooking - you may know the basic steps for making a roux, but that is a far cry from turning butter and flour into a base for sauce.
Looking back at this endeavor I've learned a few things about myself and my perceptions of what I can and cannot do. When I started out, I was fairly certain that I could not do anything that would push me too far outside my comfort zone. I had effectively brainwashed myself into believing that I could not handle heights at all, and that there was nothing that would truly change that. Furthermore, I believed that changing that phobia wouldn't have a lasting effect on my life, even if it did occur. I now know that that is essentially a self-fulfilling prophesy. I am afraid of heights, therefore I cannot climb. I cannot climb because I will have a panic attack and get stuck. Then, when confronted with the trigger (heights) the panic would set in, reinforcing in my mind the belief that heights cause fear. There's something interesting about this though: it's all in my head. Seriously, it sounds so very cliche, but it's true. Fear is truly all in the mind, and is a mind-killer. When one's higher mind stops working due to fear, the lower more primitive brain takes over - and all the primitive mind is interested in doing is reacting to stimulus, not thinking things through logically. The primitive mind doesn't care that there are safety ropes and harnesses only that it's off the ground, and off the ground is bad and scary.
That pesky primitive mind doesn't have to be in charge though. As an evolved species, we can choose to grow past our learned behaviors, with a little work. We don't have to continue to experience bad reactions to everyday situations, and I believe that this is applicable in more ways than getting over a fear of heights. Actively retraining a response to a given trigger has so many more uses, beyond re-wiring a phobic reaction. I can see myself using it to help my kids get over childhood fears, such as one of my son's dislike of loud noises. Perhaps, by explaining to him that even though the noise makes him want to cover his ears and tune out the world, that he can instead acknowledge the noise, acknowledge the fact that he doesn't like the noise, and also think about how the noise isn't going to hurt him at all, I will be able to help him move past it. It would certainly help him to enjoy noisy birthday parties more - as it is, he tends to lose himself into a video game in those situations as a coping mechanism. It is definitely something to look into.
On my own end, doing this project in experiential learning has given me the idea that I can do more than I thought I could. I'm looking forward to using my new-found confidence in everyday ways - washing that pesky picture window is at the top of the list. I've never been able to do it before, because of being terrified of the ladder. It will be nice to look out a sparkling window. I also feel less fear when it comes to trying new things. For some reason, now that I've faced my worst fear, any lesser fears seem quite trivial now. Applying for a top notch grad school isn't as daunting. Finding the right preschool for my special-needs son, while still worrisome, doesn't feel as frightening. I still worry, but I've learned that if I just breathe, and talk myself through the situation, pieces fall where they will without causing an all-out panic. It's just fear (or worry, or uncertainty, or you-name-it). It's a biochemical response triggered to stimuli, and in and of itself doesn't mean anything. It's how you respond to it that counts.
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