And so it starts...

ac·ro·pho·bia

noun \ˌa-krə-ˈfō-bē-ə\

1 : abnormal dread of being in a high place : fear of heights  

2 : abnormal or pathological dread of being in a high place : fear of heights  

(definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster)

As part of my final year at DePaul's School of New Learning, I have to do something that the powers that be have coined an "externship."  In this externship, I'm expected to have "...an opportunity to focus on the particular dynamic of learning from direct experience in new situations."  Furthermore, I'm expected to "...to push yourself to define and to expand your learning style, to learn about something with which you don’t have much experience, and to familiarize yourself with your ability to successfully adapt to new learning."*

Generally, when I'm learning something I prefer to be given something to read and then go from there: whether it be write a paper or design a project or even teach myself how to knit.  I'm not a fan of group classes.  I'm much happier to do things in my own way, by myself, and learn by making my own mistakes (and then hopefully fixing them).  In preparation for my externship I did a little brainstorming.  Should I learn photography?  Perhaps hire a professional organizer to teach me how to get (and keep) my clutter to a minimum?  While both of those are something that I either don't have much experience in, or am not very good at, neither of them push my boundaries very much.  I needed to think of something that would truly push me outside of my comfort zone.  In a flash of inspiration similar to when Archimedes sat in a bathtub and shouted "Eureka!" it came to me: I'll learn to rock climb.  It's perfect.  I've never done it before, there are group classes at the local park district Field House, and it's totally outside of my normal self to do much of anything fitness-wise.

Did I mention that I'm petrified of heights?

I'm not talking about a little feeling of discomfort when up on a 10' ladder in November hanging up Christmas lights.  I'm talking about my knees shaking when I stand up on a stool to change a lightbulb.  I'm talking about getting extreme vertigo the last time I was dragged (unwillingly, I might add) to the IMAX theater in the Museum of Science and Industry to see a documentary on Hurricane Katrina.  I left early, by the way - and I'm pretty sure there are still nail gouges in the arm rest of the chair I was sitting in.  My hands hurt from how hard I was gripping that slightly sticky, textured plastic.  By the time I was outside that wretched theater my knees were shaking and I was covered in a cold, fear-driven sweat.

My first rock climbing class starts tomorrow night.  My husband will be there; he says it's for moral support, but I think that it's actually because he wants to see his acrophobic wife go more than 3 feet off the ground and snicker at the look of utter terror that I'm sure will be on my face.  I plan on using a combination of what therapists call CBT - or cognative behavior therapy - and mediation to power through my fear.... or at the very least not get stuck on the wall like a terrified kitten up a tree.  I would hate to be the person that they have to call fire rescue for because she got stuck UP on a rock wall.

Wish me luck!

*Both quotes are taken from Chapter 3 of SNL's Foundations of Learning workbook